Nature violently prevents Ron Zook and Jon Gruden from sharing the same stage

Jon Gruden: THIS GUY is the rare coach who seems to be genuinely enjoying life away from the sideline. He gets to do pretty much whatever he wants at least six months out of the year, he's still got a steady gig in the fall, and a flattering recurring role every winter as the leading candidate for every major job opening in football. By now, he's probably re-acclimated himself to sleeping in an actual bed, after years of collapsing on his desk at 2 a.m. with flickering game film illuminating the imprint of a depth chart on the side of his face. It's a charmed existence.

What happens when that existence intersects with Ron Zook? It nearly comes to a terrifying end:

The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach was headed to Champaign, Ill., to join University of Illinois coach Ron Zook as a weekend guest speaker at the state's High School Football Coaches Association Clinic.

Gruden's flight was 20 minutes out of Tampa International Airport when he heard a strange sound.

"All of a sudden, the woman next to me asked, 'Did you hear something?'?" Gruden said Monday. "I told her I definitely heard a weird noise. You could sense something was up. Then the flight attendant came on the speaker and said we got hit by lightning."

THIS GUY made it out in one piece, along with the other passengers, but the plane was forced to make an emergency landing in Orlando, where it was surrounded by a phalanx of firetrucks as Gruden called Zook to beg out of the clinic before hopping in a rental car back to Tampa. "I promised him I'll be at the clinic next year," Gruden said, thereby sparking web rumors that he will actually be running the clinic next year because OMG Jon Gruden is going to replace Ron Zook as Illinois' head coach. Bodog.com should be releasing the odds of Gruden coaching the Fighting Illini in 2012 sometime later today, and they should be roughly the same as Zook's.

Illinois offensive coordinator Paul Petrino spoke in Gruden's place, thereby preventing an explosive fusion of Gruden and Zook's intense energies that might have put the lives of unsuspecting high school coaches at risk. No refunds!

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Hat tip: CBS Sports
Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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