Sunday, April 24, 2011

Who would want to break into USC’s compliance office? Who wouldn’t?

Warm up the bloodhound and the magnifying glass: USC's department of public safety confirmed today that an apparent burglar ransacked the inside of USC's athletic compliance office in late March, even as the Trojans continue to wait on the result of their last-ditch appeal to the NCAA to reduce the heavy-handed sanctions dropped on the football and basketball teams last summer. So many suspects! So many motives!

Could it have been Pete Carroll or Tim Floyd, in search of some secret file that will exonerate his tarnished legacies as head coaches? Reggie Bush, on the prowl for the address of his lost Heisman Trophy? Lloyd Lake, on the prowl for the sake of being on the prowl? Mike Garrett, who's pretty sure he left his keys somewhere around here? Lane Kiffin, with the candlestick? Todd McNair, in the conservatory, with Faison Love? Someone from outside the program, perhaps, bent on sabotage?

Or could it have been … uh, some guy looking to score a free debit card for a quick spree:

The break-in occurred March 29 and according to campus security reports obtained by the website, a debit card was taken from an employee's desk. The employee later learned that three purchases were made on the stolen card before he canceled the card.

Well then … I suppose that means another case closed. Good work, everyone!

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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