Frank Martin's postgame news conference after Kansas State's 63-59 loss to UNLV on Tuesday night was one of the better eruptions by an aggravated college basketball coach that we've seen in years.
In honor of Martin's hilarious reaction to the loss and the suspension of Jacob Pullen and Curtis Kelly, let's go line by line through a partial transcript and break down what he said and what he really meant.
Q. Is Rodney (McGruder) OK?
FM: Part of playing sports. You get hit, you bleed a little bit.
Translation: You kidding me? It's just a broken tooth. Not like he lost a limb or something.
Q. Frank I know you said you guys weren't going to expand on the statement.
FM. So why are you asking?
Q. I'm not asking about it. How emotional --
FM. I'm not speaking about people that are not here today.
Translation: In case you can't tell by the perma-scowl on my face, I'm really, really mad tonight. Like found my wife in bed with the pool boy mad. Ask about Curtis Kelly and Jacob Pullen again at your own risk.
Q. Frank, did Rodney lose a tooth?
FM: I got no idea. I broke my nose three times. It's part of playing sports. He'll be all right.
Translation: The tooth thing again? It's nothing some super glue wouldn't fix. How about we talk about that opportunity to draw a key second-half charge he missed?
Q. How do you think you guys responded to being shorthanded?
FM. We lost. Obviously not good enough. We're not about losing here. We're not about playing hard and coming up close and moral victories. That's not what we built our program about. We lost, so it wasn't good enough.
Translation: How did we respond? We missed 12 free throws, committed 23 turnovers and lost to a team that shot 38 percent. Did you not hear me through the wall of our locker room when I was tearing our players a new one? How do you think we responded?
Q. Any hints of the leadership without those guys on the court?
A. You guys are trying to get under my skin today, aren't you? I've been pretty respectful of the media my whole career. I don't want to hear anything else about leadership about anyone other than the guys on the basketball court. I do not want you to refer any questions again about anybody who was not dressed and in uniform here today
Translation: One more question and I'll go Rampage Jackson on all you guys. Don't think I won't.
Q: Did you feel like there were a couple of times in this game you guys could have broken when you got down nine?
FM: We're immature. Somewhere along the line our guys think you can win basketball games without passing the basketball. Six assists, 23 turnovers. And all 23 are just nonchalant, non-aggressive turnovers. It was frustrating to watch.
Yeah, we battled and we fought and we clawed and that was nice. And yeah, we clapped and we hugged, but now we cut it to one and we've got them on their heels and they've got a baseline drive, a dead charge and Rodney gets out of the way (for a) three-point play. That's not a winning play.
Translation: If you guys aren't going to bring up the charge Rodney missed, I'll do it myself. Do I have to do everything around here?
Q: Have you ever faced a challenge like this as an assistant or a coach?
FM: You remember my first year when all you guys thought I was a moron and had no idea what I was doing? When I lost my AD halfway through the year? That was a little bit harder.
Translation: You new around here? Next question.
Q. What do you like about your backcourt right now?
FM: <four second pause> That they're good kids.
Translation: I've been ranting up here for five minutes about our lack of poise, lack of leadership and lack of identity, and you're going to ask me that now? I really need a vacation.
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