• Where are the heated sofas and the outlet for my cappuccino machine? Amateurs. You'd think after the literal collapse of your house, you'd be grateful to whoever was willing to take you in. Not so much Minnesota Vikings punter (and part-time bass player) Chris Kluwe, who took to Twitter Sunday to blast the field conditions at the University of Minnesota's brand-spanking-new TCF Bank Stadium, emergency host of tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Vikings and Chicago Bears. Kluwe dubbed the turf – buried under a small mountain of snow less than a week ago – "unplayable" and called the NFL "hypocritical" for allowing a game on a field that's "as hard as concrete" in a season defined mainly by the league's over-the-top crusade against concussions. Tight end Visanthe Shiancoe was more generous to the campus venue, despite his own concerns about "random patches of hard and slippery field." [Minneapolis Star Tribune]
• I'm still here, part one. Amid many reports of his demise, Maryland coach Ralph Friedgen hasn't agreed to retire and is still expected to coach the team against East Carolina in next week's Military Bowl, even as sources continue to insist the Terps are in hot pursuit of Mike Leach to replace the Fridge as head coach. If Friedgen doesn't step aside, the school could be on the hook for $2 million to buy out the final year of his contract. [Baltimore Sun, Washington Post]
• Meet the new boss(es). As expected, Ball State filled its head coaching vacancy over the weekend with Pete Lembo, architect of turnarounds at I-AA/FCS Lehigh (Pa.) and Elon (N.C.) over the last decade. Lembo's resumé includes a 79-36 record, a national coach of the year nod in his first season at Lehigh, seven wins over ranked FCS teams in five seasons at Elon and the first playoff berth in Elon history in 2009 – all of which will pale to a resurrection of Ball State after a dismal, 6-18 stretch under Stan Parrish over the last two years. [Associated Press]
Elsewhere in the MAC, Kent State is tapping the Ohio pipeline for Buckeye receivers coach Darrell Hazell, who will replace head coach Doug Martin in one of the most daunting jobs in the country: The Golden Flashes have managed exactly two winning seasons in the last 30 years and a single bowl game in school history, the 1972 Tangerine Bowl, featuring future Hall-of-Famer Jack Lambert and a young Nick Saban under future Washington legend Don James. [Columbus Dispatch]
• I'm still here, part two. Notre Dame quarterback Dayne Crist, former golden boy recruit, shrugged off rumors that he was considering a transfer rather than compete for the starting job with sophomore-to-be Tommy Rees, who finished the regular season 3-0 as a starter after Crist went down with an injured knee in the Irish's humiliating Oct. 30 loss to Tulsa. Crist has one year of eligibility remaining, but also has a redshirt year to burn if he changes his mind. [South Bend Tribune]
• Another hobnailed 'Husker. Nebraska safety Rickey Thenarse won't play in the Holiday Bowl after being arrested Sunday on an early morning DUI charge – just a few hours after his graduation ceremony. Thenarse is the second Cornhusker starter on ice against Washington for an alcohol-related offense, joining defensive tackle Baker Steinkuhler, who was cited near the same intersection earlier this month. [Lincoln Journal Star]
Quickly… USC defensive tackle Hebron Fangupo, 25 years old and recently married, will transfer to BYU as a walk-on. … Tennessee defensive coordinator Justin Wilcox is the latest target to replace Will Muschamp at Texas, but "nothing appears imminent." … Al Golden is retaining three assistant coaches at Miami, one of whom will decide on the 'Canes' starting quarterback in the Sun Bowl. … Redshirt freshman Daryle Hawkins is playing the role of Cam Newton in Oregon practices. … Auburn has been kicked off its regular practice fields by construction. … Michael Haywood gets a standing ovation from his team on his way to Pittsburgh. … Another call for schools to tell bowl games where to stick their ticket obligations. … Revisiting the 1971 Liberty Bowl conspiracy. … Alabama's offensive line is back at square one, finally. … Hawaii's band executes one of the greatest marching formations ever conceived. … Somebody has to ring this bell. … And some Alabama stores are counting their championships before they hatch.
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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.
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